If –

If I cooked like Henry Miller I would wear a dirty white apron, work at The Reef, and fuck waitresses in between shifts.

If I cooked like Agatha Christie everyone would want to know who choked whom with the sausage in the dinning room.

If I  cooked like Virginia Wolfe you would all be very afraid.

If I cooked like Franz Kafka I would be a guest chef on Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern.

If I cooked like E. L. James I would be head chef at Hooters.

If I cooked like James Joyce my kitchen would be a mythic mess and it would take me 17 years to make dinner. You would all be in awe and amazed and yet have no idea how to eat it.



1 1/2 oz Becherovka Liqueur
3/4 oz Lemon Juice
3/4 oz Honey Syrup (1:1)

Shake with ice and double strain into a cocktail glass. Garnish with a lemon twist.


“if technology is a pimp, our language is its favorite bitch” -panelists at SXSW.


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