Dutch Treat


He drops himself into the chair in front of me and sighs. “I’m really looking for an independent woman. Someone who can teach me – things- Someone who has a life of their own. No drama, no strings, no inconveniences. You know, a normal relationship.”

“Ummm – Hi, my name is K -”

“Bob.” (Waves to the waitress.) “Hey, we’ll have two coffee’s over here.”

“Nice to meet you, Bob. So, what do you do for a living?”

“Why? Are you looking for a sugar daddy?”

“No. I was just curious how you spend your days. I guess I should ask, do you like your job?”

(Checks his phones) “I work for a computer company. But I’m not like the rest of those guys, you know. I have plans.”

“Oh, cool. Something you are passionate about. That is good.”

He mumbles under his breath – “god she’s judging me already” then straightens up in his chair. “What do you do?”

“Same. And I’m working on my Master’s degree.” (Awkward silence.) “What do you like to do in your free time?”

“I workout twice a day. On Tuesdays and Thursdays I swim. Wednesdays I go to the climbing gym and Friday’s I go out with the guys after work. But I’m really into hiking, snowshoeing, motorcycle riding, Karate and Tai Bo, hang gliding, skiing, snowboarding, golf, tennis and I watch a lot of football. (checks his phones) Let’s see – oh yeah, I’ve travelled to fifty countries and I’m planning to move soon and live simply. Kind of check out from society, you know -”

“Um, not really – (shifting uncomfortably in my seat) but – uh -all  that must keep you busy, huh? I like skiing and hiking as well. I do some sailing when I have time.” (He checks his phone again.) “Um. I do a lot of writing and I like to cook -”

“Cook? So, you’re looking to get married and have another kid before it’s too late? Do you want to be a housewife or something? (Pauses to text.) I don’t believe in marriage, by the way.”

“No. I-”

“Oh, good. I thought you were like those other women. My ex girlfriend tried to pressure me into moving in together a year after we met -(chatter, chatter, ex girlfriend, chatter) (I check my phone.)  – So, long story short, I have to keep your expectations in check.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Expectations? I’m just looking to meet someone nice and if something comes of it, that would be great.”

“You’re talking about love already?! Look, my parent would never accept you. You’re over thirty, you’re not a doctor, you have a kid and you’re divorced. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I think  you’re pretty. But it does make me wonder why a hottie like you is single. (laughs) I have to assume that your husband divorced you because there is something wrong with you.”

“What?”

“Hey, don’t get upset. (fake smile) I’m willing to overlook all that. Do you want to go back to my place?”

“No. Are you kidding? Our coffee hasn’t even come yet -”

“So, you have hangups about sex too?”

“I’m sorry, Bob. I think I’d better go.”

“Ah, man. I’m sorry. (buries his head in his hands.) Really. I know I’m getting a bit a head of myself. I’m just so nervous.”

(secretly hit the ringtone button on my phone under the table.) “Oh, Damn. Hey, I have to take this. It’s Congress again. Those boys can’t get anything done without me. It was nice to meet you.”

I try not to go faster than a walk when I hear him calling after me – “Hey – this is dutch treat, right?”

Dutch Treat

cocktail 1(1)

Mix a double coffee and cream with Van Gogh’s Dutch Caramel Vodka, chill it in the refrigerator and garnish it with Cholive.

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