The top 5 regrets from patients in hospice care, at the end of their lives:
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
I know I’m starting off here by sounding like a self -help blog. Hang in there.
Regrets suck. I tried to have a conversation on this topic with a friend once who is only 30. He interpreted it as a fear of death. I tried to have this conversation with JJ once. He interpreted it as my “wanting to move our relationship forward”. B tried to have this conversation with me once. I interpreted it as him “wanting to move our relationship forward”. I had this conversation with my friend SM when he needed to talk with me about his relationship with a younger woman. He interpreted it as a mature recognition of our limitations and an example of how our values change throughout adulthood. Smart guy.
We spend a lot of time in our lives now days trying to get our shit together or trying to figure ourselves out. Waiting for that moment when we think we are ready for something. I look at that list and I think I should tell my friends who are in their 20’s and 30’s these things. But it won’t matter. They will shake their head and say yes and go on doing exactly what they are doing. But as Master Yoda says “You think Yoda stops teaching, just because his student does not want to hear? A teacher Yoda is. Yoda teaches like drunkards drink, like killers kill.”
They will ultimately come to this realization themselves, and then they will want to tell their friends or their kids about it.
You can read that list all you want, but the details of it don’t really matter. There is one common denominator that underlies them all – not doing. You might notice that what is missing in that list is any acknowledgement of needing to be ready. No one ever says, “I should have been ready sooner”. They say, “I wish I had”. After all, it’s not really about being ready, our real concern is about failure and loss.
Quotes from Jedi Master’s:
“No! Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try.” – Yoda
“Ready are you? What know you of ready? For eight hundred years have I trained Jedi. My own counsel will I keep on who is to be trained. A Jedimust have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind. This one a long time have I watched. All his life has he looked away… to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was. Hmm? What he was doing. Hmph. Adventure. Heh. Excitement. Heh. A Jedi craves not these things. You are reckless.” -Yoda
“There is no shame in falling, There is only shame if you refuse to rise once again.” ―Pernicar
“I don’t believe the training of a true Jedi comes from listening to lectures. I want to teach you how to learn action, how to do things, not just think about them. There is no try.” ―Luke Skywalker
From the Star Wars Cookbook
3 limes, juice of or 1/4 cup lime juice
3 tablespoons sugar
1 cup sparkling water
1 scoop lime sherbet or 1 scoop lime sorbet
Juice limes to obtain 1/4 cup lime juice (or use 1/4 prepared juice!).
Combine lime juice and sugar–stir to dissolve sugar.
Add sparkling water and stir till mixed.
Taste and add more sugar if desired.
Place sherbet in a tall glass and pour lime mixture over top.