What Did I Miss?


If you just started receiving this blog again, I thought you all might want to know just how I went about this de-selection of people. Simple. I drew names from a hat. If you are completely lost already check out my post Facetime or Time to Face It for reference.

Well, it’s been a busy last few weeks while some of you were gone.  I completed my graduate certificate, finished my research paper for my class, went to a fundraiser for Re-build Together featuring fab, drag-queen impersonators, I attempted to set up my friend on a man-date for hiking, had pizza with a friend while we elected the only viable candidate for president (nice), and I got the opportunity to go to Victoria BC and to San Francisco soon. Oh yes, I sent out many thanksgiving menu recommendations.

So, you might be wondering what the answer to my questions were?

  • Will people behave differently if they know I have opted out of contact with them? The answer to this was yes. Some people did.
  • Do you care if I send you this blog or not? Some of you did. Based on my stats some readers did continue to read this even when I didn’t send it to them. Other people told me in person that they didn’t care and that it mattered more to them that I was there to give them a hug than it did that I sent them something to fill up their in-box.
  • What am I missing by not seeing you all face-to-face over dinner…the raise of an eyebrow, a smile, a look of disappointment? A lot.
  • What really makes you happy?  and Will I be happier? The answer to this is yes, I did find more happiness. Mostly just because put forth a real effort to stop expecting and to be more curious about the things I already like. But also, because I spent more time thinking about the people who were immediately around me rather than who I might want in my life.
  • What do I really have to offer you/anyone,/the world, that someone else can’t give? This is a hard question.  I know that, for some people, I obviously didn’t have enough to give no matter what I did. JJ was one of these, but there are others. Men and women. I think that you can get all these recipes, all these ideas, all these book recommendations from other people, but I’m not sure that is the point. It is not just about what someone has to offer you, but about how you allow yourself  to be touched and awakened by another person.

I think these are valid question to continue to ask myself. After all, what does social media and virtual reality add to or subtract from my life? Maybe they are important questions for you too. If you really missed me, drop me an email, ping me or give me a call.  You might still have time to catch up with us in Victoria if you hurry. But for this week, I’m off to San Francisco to visit a friend over the Thanksgiving Holiday. I think we’ll make a trip to Chez Panisse.

I also picked up a new book this week called Empire of the Summer Moon which I thought would make a great read over Thanksgiving.

S. C. Gwynne’s Empire of the Summer Moon spans two astonishing stories. The first traces the rise and fall of the Comanches, the most powerful Indian tribe in American history. The second entails one of the most remarkable narratives ever to come out of the Old West: the epic saga of the pioneer woman Cynthia Ann Parker and her mixed-blood son Quanah, who became the last and greatest chief of the Comanches.

Although readers may be more familiar with the tribal names Apache and Sioux, it was in fact the legendary fighting ability of the Comanches that determined just how and when the American West opened up. Comanche boys became adept bareback riders by age six; full Comanche braves were considered the best horsemen who ever rode. They were so masterful at war and so skillful with their arrows and lances that they stopped the northern drive of colonial Spain from Mexico and halted the French expansion westward from Louisiana. White settlers arriving in Texas from the eastern United States were surprised to find the frontier being rolled backward by Comanches incensed by the invasion of their tribal lands. So effective were the Comanches that they forced the creation of the Texas Rangers and account for the advent of the new weapon specifically designed to fight them: the six-gun.

The war with the Comanches lasted four decades, in effect holding up the development of the new American nation. Gwynne’s exhilarating account delivers a sweeping narrative that encompasses Spanish colonialism, the Civil War, the destruction of the buffalo herds, and the arrival of the railroads—a historical feast for anyone interested in how the United States came into being.

Against this backdrop Gwynne presents the compelling drama of Cynthia Ann Parker, a lovely nine-year-old girl with cornflower-blue eyes who was kidnapped by Comanches from the far Texas frontier in 1836. She grew to love her captors and became infamous as the “White Squaw” who refused to return until her tragic capture by Texas Rangers in 1860. More famous still was her son Quanah, a warrior who was never defeated and whose guerrilla wars in the Texas Panhandle made him a legend. – Amazon.com

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