You Are So Beautiful


There was an interesting topic in one of my classes last week and it is pretty directly related to diet. It must have been on my mind. I was chatting a girl friend about another persons dislike of me, musing as to why people are attracted to others. I mentioned that he must think I am hideous because no amount of emotional comfort has overcome his obvious sexual dis-interest in me. Well, that’s ok. Not everyone is your cup of tea. I understand that. What was curious to me is when people chose attraction over emotion. Don’t get me wrong, I do it too. It’s a fascinating vestige of our biology.

“You look like what a real woman should look like. you go to work, have a kid, and look healthy. You don’t need to look like Heidi Klum,” my friend said.

“Ha ha, I don’t think that – for god sake. I’m way beyond that kind of thinking, but i’m surprised at men sometimes.I guess I shouldn’t be, ” I answered. But mostly I’m surprised at people. Myself included, because no matter how “good” we feel about ourselves there is a constant barrage of media imagery telling us what  qualities society ascribes to us based on our looks.

Of course, this is also related to what we eat, because we are also told to buy something for our skin or to try this diet and we do. Sometimes I do. I find, more often that drinking water and eating veggies is the best solution to my “problems”. I thought that I would try a little experiment with myself, take control of my own media exposures and actively seek out images of what I consider to be “beautiful” women. So I started with typing in the words “beautiful women” to see what came up. I’m sure you can guess. Then I moved onto “older beautiful women” and found a bunch of pictures of busty women in their 30’s being described as “cougars” (because you know we need a label, right?) What I discovered in this little search is that “older women” means women who are over 30. Older black women and women of color are never represented as beautiful, beautiful women are never represented as normal size or plump and beautiful women aren’t represented as aging gracefully, but as “fighting it” instead of caring for themselves.

Well, there is a lot more to this topic, isn’t there? This is what I found, feel free to tell me what you think:

Let’s start with this. This is how we are told we should “fight” aging.

This is real aging.

Do you think she is attractive? Why or why not?

How about her?

Here are some real, healthy and beautiful women. Notice, not one of them has Cougar written across their tee-shirt. Why are beautiful, older women labeled as abnormal for being sensual or sexual? Why not men? Why not give an insulting label to the young men who would prefer to be with them? Wait…why does age matter when it’s the woman who is older, but not when it is the man who is older?

I should hope to be this cool when I’m over 70.

The problem with the concept of beauty is that we all recognize it, we all are attracted to it on a very basic biological level, but a minority define it for the majority in society. If you want it you are labeled as shallow and having “issues”, if you don’t have it you are labeled as needing to be fixed. Check out this video and see what you think:

The Ugly Truth About Beauty. The first bit is not interesting, but it’s short, the video at the end is fascinating. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1XiwOGFg3wA

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One thought on “You Are So Beautiful

  1. You asked if the third woman was beautiful. I say yes. Why, her skin, her hair, her lips, her apparent confidence.Fourth from the bottom also beautiful

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