close your eyes and look deep back
where once were soft touches and stolen glances
submit to an introspective retrospective.
my hand on your chest, I felt your heart in a fluttering fury, skipping and racing toward me.
smitten, smited, serene, saturated, stunned, salacious, I sigh
placate, propitiate, pacify, restore.
Find me again…
I performed this little poetry exercise a week or so ago. It was inspired by a talk with a friend of mine and the search for a word in the thesaurus. I sent it to him, but I realized it is also applies to other people…and to me. One of the things I really dislike about myself is my complete inability to fall out of love. I guess the up-side is that I rarely really fall into it.
The talk I had with my friend was about love and why people push someone away when they really care and are trying their best to help. “She won’t listen to what I had to say. She was very inert to any opinion and stubborn. She won’t even have an open mind to ideas. I was obviously there to help her! Why wont she even appreciate that?”
“I know she does appreciate it, but she has probably not ever experienced it before. She is just afraid of change,” I said. It’s obvious to me that she loves him and that he loves her. I wish I could wave my little wand for them and poof….I guess I can offer this – reasons why people are afraid of change or afraid of trying again:
- The risk of change is seen as greater than the risk of standing still
- People feel connected to the other people who are identified with the old way
- People have no role models for the new activity
- People fear they lack the competence to change
- People feel overloaded and overwhelmed
- People have a healthy skepticism and want to be sure new ideas are sound
- People fear hidden agendas among would-be reformers
- People feel the proposed change threatens their notion of themselves
- People anticipate a loss of status or quality of life
- People genuinely believe that the proposed change is a bad idea
Isn’t it interesting that of all ten of those reasons, only one is really rational: making sure new ideas are sound. The rest, it seems to me, is just fear. It funny, whether is a major life change or simply trying something new to eat, we still have the same thought process. The irony of it all it that, in the end, the change we were so afraid of is rarely as frightening, traumatic or yucky tasting as we thought. Once we commit to making it, it more often opens up new doors we had never even considered while were so busy worrying about how to protect ourselves.
A lady in my office asked me for a good recipe for Raita. Here it is, with just a few notes, I prefer Greek yogurt or Nancy’s and fresh mint, and (FYI) you can get Chat Masala at the B&I Indian store in Tacoma or on line at Amazon. This is my favorite recipe from showmethecurry.com:
- Yogurt – 2 cups, well beaten
- English Cucumber – half ( approx. 6” long)
- Tomato – ½ med., finely chopped
- Green Chili – to taste, finely chopped
- Cumin – ¼ tsp, roasted and coarsely ground
- Red Chili Powder – ¼ tsp
- Chat Masala – ½ tsp
- Salt – to taste
- Mint Powder – ¼ tsp, optional
- Cilantro – 5 springs, chopped
- Grate cucumber with or without skin.
- Squeeze out the water from grated Cucumber.
- Add all the ingredients into the beaten yogurt and mix well.