Wouldn’t it be nice if we all fell in love with people who were appropriate for us?
I think about this a lot because I have friends for whom finding a person who suits not just his expectations, but also his families expectations, is very important. I worry about it because I wonder if anyone I really truly love would keep me in spite of my difficulties. You know, the kind of difficulties everyone has. I look at people like JJ’s roommate, or my friend BB or others and I sometimes find myself feeling envious of how lucky they seem to be to have fallen in love with someone so appropriate for them. But what of those of us who don’t?
I am an advocate for gay rights because I’m an advocate of love. My friend tells me she believes that everyone is bi-sexual to some degree (of course, because she lives in Olympia) and I wouldn’t disagree. I think women are beautiful, I just happen to love men. My other friend tells me that he believes that gender is a social construct. I disagree. Our expectations of sexuality and romantic behavior are certainly a social construct though. I can only imagine how hard it must be to fit someone you love into a life where other’s deem them unacceptable for you. How brave are any of us when it comes to profound love even without the pressures of social confines?
As with all societies, our concepts of “moral”, “correct”, “appropriate”, or “good” change as the culture changes. But look back over the history of any society and you will find that our experience of love is pretty damn similar. Our hearts beat for each other the same way they did thousands of years ago regardless of whether mommy and daddy will approve. Regardless of whether people will stare at you, ostracize you or even prosecute you for loving a person of the “wrong” gender, family, caste, or color.
My ex-husband behaved like an asshole when he left (or I kicked him out, depending on your view point). He left me lying in a hospital bed waiting to find out if I had a brain tumor while he took our son to visit his girlfriend. I can certainly fault him for his behavior. But what if he really did find a person that he loves in a way he has never known before? Of course, it would never justify treating other people badly to get what you want. Of course, I have been in love like that and it was not with him, it just happened to before and after him. What if it was all just bad timing? I can fault him for hurting me, but if he truly found someone who makes him dream vivid, colorful, beautiful dreams – for wanting this I would never fault him.
White Bread: A Social History of the Store-Bought Loaf
White Bread teaches us that when Americans debate what one should eat, they are also wrestling with larger questions of race, class, immigration, and gender. As Bobrow-Strain traces the story of bread, from the first factory loaf to the latest gourmet pain au levain, he shows how efforts to champion “good food” reflect dreams of a better society—even as they reinforce stark social hierarchies.
In the early twentieth century, the factory-baked loaf heralded a bright new future, a world away from the hot, dusty, “dirty” bakeries run by immigrants. Fortified with vitamins, this bread was considered the original “superfood” and even marketed as patriotic—while food reformers painted white bread as a symbol of all that was wrong with America.
The history of America’s one-hundred-year-long love-hate relationship with white bread reveals a lot about contemporary efforts to change the way we eat. Today, the alternative food movement favors foods deemed ethical and environmentally correct to eat, and fluffy industrial loaves are about as far from slow, local, and organic as you can get. Still, the beliefs of early twentieth-century food experts and diet gurus, that getting people to eat a certain food could restore the nation’s decaying physical, moral, and social fabric, will sound surprisingly familiar. Given that open disdain for “unhealthy” eaters and discrimination on the basis of eating habits grow increasingly acceptable, White Bread is a timely and important examination of what we talk about when we talk about food. – From Amazon.com