How do you know?

We’ve all had them, even if it was only in grade school. Fans, admirers, unrequited lovers, stalkers. Some of them are creepy-crazy, some of them sincere, some of them gluttons for punishment. I had a sincere friend who professed his undying love for me for almost 20 years. I had my very own crazy a while back. He called and politely said ‘hello’. Then he began to give me advise on my son. Then he asked me to come live with him in New York. Not that we had done anything other than causally date while he lived here.

“I’m seeing someone,” I said. “That’s okay,” was the answer, “he’ll get over it.”

B loved me from a far for a very long time. He was sincere. He was kind. He never gave up on me and I hardly gave him one of those hope-giving glances. He slowly, persistently, gently, generously changed my life until I found I had grown out of my childish 20-something ideals. He gave and gave. He was brave.

Me, I’m a coward. (I know I’ve said it before.) I like to think that if one of those people in my life whom I have loved so long ever came back I would be able to shut all the other out of my heart and say yes to them. But I’m not sure I ever would.

I would like to think that I would do justice to those sincere, kind, gentle men who have loved me so long without even a amorous glace in return. But I don’t.

I think perhaps it would be easiest to take back someone who I once had a connection with. But how do you get over the irrational mental concoctions that brought it to an end and find the real you’s again?

What do you do with and attachment sānctitās? It seems I have lived my whole life this way. I still have Big Loves. Loves that won’t let go of your heart. Some I choose to ignore; too some I am kind; some I have buried a long time ago. Am I crazy or am I a die-hard romantic? Hummmm…..probably Don Quixote.

How do you know?


Spicy Celery and Ginger Soup

I had no soup stock or bullion so I just made this stuff up as I went. It turned out really yummy and is just right for the summer time. The only thing I found myself wishing I had was some garlic Naan to go with it.

  • 4 small white potatoes
  • 1 walla walla sweet onion
  • 1 large bunch of celery
  • lots of ginger
  • 4-5 garlic cloves
  • butter
  • few drops of fish sauce
  • two pinches of chili powder
  • tiny pinch of asefotida
  • salt to taste
  • 1/4 of avocado
  • 3-4 cups of water

Chop the onions, potatoes, and celery. Saute in butter for approximately 10 minutes. Add ginger, garlic, water, and spices. Let simmer for 30-40 minutes or until all veggies are nice and tender. Transfer to a blender and add the avocado. Blend well and heat again if necessary.


“Anyone can give up, it’s the easiest thing in the world to do.” – Anon

“But the greatest love – the love above all loves, Even greater than that of a mother – Is the tender, passionate, undying love…of one beer drunken slob for another” – Irish saying.


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