Today I want to run away. I am tired of everything. So I dug through my bookshelf because the best way I know how to runaway is into a book. I want to hide between it’s pages, live in another world for a while.
Mark Twain with a torn cover, James Joyce who’s words have disappeared on the spine, Tolstoy with edges faded blue by the sun. I have loved them all. But I can’t read books that will make my heart ache. It aches enough already.
Tucked between the books are a few movies that might take me away; Step into Liquid or Mondovino. I found a copy of the movie The Reader that JJ had selfishly given me for my birthday. I’ve never watched and I threw it away today. I didn’t want that. I wanted kindness, thoughtfulness, peace. I would have let him lay his head in my lap while we read quietly or out loud to each other. I didn’t need a movie to remind me. I already know the secret of real love, and I wait for someone else who does too, or maybe someone who will listen when I whisper it to them in the dark. That is my own personal heresy I suppose, that love should not be a drama, a fairytale, or a cheap romance movie. Love is friendship, comfort and tenderness. That’s what I want most today.
I considered reading The Death of Ivan Ilych or a Whale for the Killing, but that won’t do. I think Robert Bakker will let me live somewhere else for a while. I’ll lay my head in his intellectual and heretical lap and let him stroke my brain with theories of a world so far way from this one.
If you have never read any layperson science, the Dinosaur Heresies is an approachable and interesting read. Light, refreshing, thought provoking and smart-fun. If you are a fan of punctuated equilibrium you will find Bob Bakker to be a worthy companion of Stephen J. Gould.
This is a recipe from an old cookbook I found in an old book stores in an old building in an old town when I was young.
Tyee Salmon Steaks (from the Salmon Cookbook) (GF)
- Salmon Steaks, 6, 6 oz.
- 1/2 olive oil
- 1/4 cup parsley
- 1/4 cup fresh squeezed lemon juice
- 2 tablespoons onion, grated
- 1/2 teaspoon dry mustard
- 1/4 teaspoon salt
- pepper to taste
Place salmon in a shallow dish. Combine all other ingredients; pour over fish. Let stand at room temperature for 2 hours, turning occasionally, or marinate in the refrigerator for 4 to 6 hours. Place salmon in well-greased wire broiler basket or on a flat rack. Grill over medium-hot coals until lightly browned (6 to 8 minutes); baste with marinade and turn. Brush again with marinade; grill until fish flakes easily when tested with a fork (6 to 8 minutes longer).