Sugar Mama

Is it me? Is it my age? Or are there a lot of boys out there looking for a Sugar Mama? American men who say they want you to lead, but really want to be carried. Cuckolded. They believe there are these wonderfully inaccessible, sophisticated, emotionally secure, successful, genius women who only want to give, give, give and are out there looking for them. Yes, that’s what every woman wants – an emotionally incompetent, confused, horny dick who has no interest in commitment, compassion, or responsibility. Like many of you women out there I often find myself thinking “OOO, maybe I could get a FWB, someone who can’t handle relationships, lives in a media-hyped fantasy world and loves to play World of War Craft.”

Unfortunately, there is an alternative. The big-bellied, jaded divorcee, who can no longer “function” and hates to be alone more than he hates women. Or the never-been-married 35-55 year old sports-travel-adventurer who doesn’t want to be tied down and is happy to grace you with his neurotic presence as long as you know when he thinks it’s time for you to go home.

I think it’s time for a new love paradigm. I have a plan and I will out line it for you when I am in a more serious, sentimental mood. At the moment I still have a rant about sugar, because it’s that time of year again. ..the sugar mafia is back out in force. They are waiting for you by the doors of the grocery store with hopeful little looks on their sweet little faces. “Would you like to buy some Girl Scout cookies?” Fucking pushers. They know you can’t say no to the Tagalog. These are Girl Scouts! Aren’t they supposed to be out in the woods making little campfires that they can all sit around while roasting marshmallows and singing happy little songs about peace and acceptance? Maybe it’s time for a new Girl Scout paradigm as well. They could bring their sewing kits to the grocery store, get on their Riot Grrrl DIY and replace a few buttons for me while I’m doing my grocery shopping. I’d pay four bucks for that. Don’t tempt me with the entire box of Shortbread, or sucker me in with the Samoa’s. This shit should be illegal. Well, at least heavily taxed…

Washington state voted down a tax on candy and soda. Apparently we don’t have the stomach for it. Let’s use our math skills for just a minute and figure out what a one cent per oz. tax on sugar sweetened and diet sweetened soft drinks would be. In Washington State that would be $306,946,162 per year. (For those of of you who studies the soft sciences, here is a calculator Oh, so you did the math and you realized how much that is going to cost you annually. Not to excited about it, huh? Well, I’m glad you are smart because here’s a little more math for you:

  • Recommended Daily Sugar Intake for Men: 36 grams or 9 teaspoons
  • Recommended Daily Sugar Intake for Women: 20 grams or 5 teaspoons
  • Recommended Daily Sugar Intake for Children: 12 grams or 3 teaspoons

Coca Cola 12 oz (355 ml) Can Sugars, total: 39g,

20 oz (590 ml) Bottle Sugars, total: 65g,

1 Liter (34 oz) Bottle, Sugars, total: 108g

Mountain Dew 20 oz (590 ml) Bottle, Sugars, total: 77g,

1 L (34 oz) Bottle, Sugars, total: 124g

Starbucks caffe vanilla frappuccino grande 16 oz , 58 g

Go ahead, do the math. Don’t forget to add in the sugar in your Sobe, Vitaminwater, sweetened juices, lattes, donuts…Now imagine how much all the extra sugar in your body is going to cost you.

Just like a little sugar from a young guy, treats are great, but balance is everything. Unfortunately, both love and sugar have become casualties of corporate marketing; unrealistic lifestyles sold to you for fast profit with no real substance or value, relying on a distribution system where your choices are crap or crap. It is time for a new paradigm friends, an American Spring.

You know, if I’m to choose, I think I’ll spend my daily sugar intake allotment on Godiva truffles, 2 of them …. 17 g


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