Guess Who’s Coming to Criticize Dinner

Almost every week for about three months I would ask my friend, “Did you see it yet?”


Then one day I got a text. “I saw it!”

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner...

Sure, there are stereo types, dated ideas and ideals, absurd situations, but there  are also a lot of philosophical questions batted around in that movie. Timeless ones. Replace  a word here and there and at least one of them will probably apply to your life.

It’s a film about the ability to honestly and conscientiously love someone no matter what society thinks. It is about the ability to embrace love in spite of the fact that it didn’t come in the package you were expecting. Something that Katharine Hepburn and Spencer Tracey knew a little bit about.

I found the most moving speeches not to be Dr. Prentice’s, not Mrs. Drayton’s, and not even Matt Drayton’s famous monologue at the end. No, I thought it was the Monseignor Ryan’s statement that these two people knew that the life together which lay a head of them would be hard, but they were willing to hold on to each other. They did not choose each other based on circumstance, they just chose each other.

How many of us ever approach anything that way? Especially love. We are always worrying about the ‘what if’, the ‘what else is out there’, the ‘what isn’t quite right’.

“When do you know when to give up and move on?” Someone once asked me as she and I discussed this topic of “what”. Love does not wipe away these challenges in life, it just gives you a person to face them with. It provides you with challenges, and you can choose if you will meet them with your better nature.

Do we love our children only if they were the one’s we were expecting to get? Only if they are faultless? How many parents have this conversation:

“Hey, honey, I have realized that there are better kids out there for us than the one’s we have. What do you think about getting rid of these ones?”

“I think that might be a good idea. It’s just not working out for me, you know…”

“Yeah, I can’t relate to this teenage thing. I think we are just in different places in our lives.”

“Absolutely. I’m really looking for a more mature parent/child relationship. Besides, they don’t exactly meet my parent preferences….I was really looking for a dark-haired boy.”

“I think we will have to be more specific on our criteria next time. Boy, dark hair, all A’s, non-smoking, no teenage game playing, someone emotionally stable who lives life to it’s fullest and loves to laugh. What do you think?”

“Oh, that sounds perfect! That is exactly what we need to make this parent/child relationship thing work. I’ll put an ad on tonight.”

Now, if you are one of those people who do not understand the nuances of this subject, you need to put your hand on your mouse and click to another page.  And, do NOT attempt the recipe in this post. You are not ready.

Soup Nazi’s Mulligatawny Soup (from

Don't like it the way it is? No soup for you.


  1. Combine all ingredients in a very large pot.
  2. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat and simmer, uncovered, for 4-5 hours or until soup has reduced by more than half.
  3. Stir occasionally for the first few hours, but stir often in the last hour to prevent the mixture from sticking to the bottom of the pot.
  4. The edges of the potatoes should become more rounded, and the nuts will soften.

Katharine is quoted as once saying: “Love is nothing to do with what you are expecting to get – only with what you are expecting to give, which is everything.”


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