Celestial soup

My food horoscope for this week said “this week’s planetary alignments direct energy toward your house of communication, as well as your house of education and travel. What’s big for you this week are food challenges that come from other countries.” That’s right, it’s a food horoscope. I was hoping for the one that said, “no matter what you eat this week you won’t gain a pound” or “you will receive the gift of a personal sushi chef this holiday”.

My girlfriend loves to analyse Horoscopes. Her analysis of me? I have an unusual number of Picses and Aquarians in my life. It may be true, she is after all, an Aquarian herself. In fact, all of my closest friends and most of my dates tend to fall into these two categories. Maybe I need to mix it up a little bit. A Scorpio perhaps?

I don’t know about all this crap. I was listening to NPR the other day and they had a great show on about evolution.  The one thing that caught my attention the most was a comment about our chemical make-up. Carbon (as you probably know we are a carbon based life form) can only be made from the furnaces of stars. “The stars are literally our ancestors’, she said. For some reason, I really like this thought. My friend insists that I am a typical Taurus, to the core:

Bulls are actually among the most practical and reliable members of the zodiac, and they are happy to plod along, as it were, in pursuit of their goals. 

Taurus is ruled by Venus, a lovely goddess who didn’t deny herself many things. In ancient Roman mythology, Venus was the Goddess of Love, Beauty and Pleasure, and Taurus has pretty much taken up where she left off. Bulls are fond of all things pretty, whether it’s in their home, at a museum or on the stage. Life as one sweet pas de deux is how the Taurus-born like it. To onlookers, this may look like so much materialism and blessed excess, but Bulls just really aren’t interested in living without beauty in their lives. Beauty to the Bull also comes in the way of a happy home life, one that includes a partner and a stable relationship.

Taurus values harmony in their personal lives, so they’ll work hard on keeping their mate happy. The Bull’s penchant for sensual pleasures, of course, can only help things along! Bulls can also be the sappiest of sentimentalists. Will all this overweening attention to their mate turn a Bull into a possessive mess? Probably not. At the end of the day, however, Taurus’s are true romantics and loyal to the core.

Hummm, it does sound familiar. And what of my penchant for Pisces? Well: Pisces males may spend most time dreaming about their partners than actually searching for one. Their imagination hardly bears connection with reality. They are easily hurt when their partners don’t meet their imaginations. To avoid feeling hurt in relations you might have to change your approach towards life. 

They can be difficult to read since most of their true feelings remain unspoken. The Pisces male needs a disciplinarian, strong woman to guide him through life since he himself is indecisive in nature. In fact, if you are dating a Pisces, be prepared to take the leash in hand. They are better with women who would extend motherly feelings to them. Intelligence plays a crucial role for you in choosing your partner.

Maybe there is something to this….I have never even considered cooking by the stars either. For a holiday based around astral configurations, it seems pretty appropriate. It inspired me to share some food horoscopes for my friends. It may give you the psychic guidance you are looking for, or just a good idea for dinner.

Are you Aquarius? “Toasted ravioli with red sauce and salad will earn you kudos, as will your lemon ricotta cupcakes with buttercream icing. Can I come over?”

Picses? “If you need an elegant appetizer, try fruit salsa and homemade cinnamon tortilla chips, or garlicky white bean dip served with chunks of crusty bread. The stars show that you’re on the verge of a breakthrough in your culinary talents. Keep reaching for the stars!”

I took this astral advise and went with the Italian challenge.

Italian Sausage and Kale Soup (GF, VG,V)

1 package Italian sausages or veggie sausages

1 onion

2-3 cloves of garlic

3-4 red potatoes

1 bunch kale (use the heavy duty stuff)

1 bullion cube


about 2 cups of water, give or take

1 double bock German beer

Start with good ingredients, end with good soup. Johnson’s smoke house is the local butcher. I was making this soup with my son in mind, other wise I would have used extra spicy sausages.

Chop your potatoes, onions, garlic and kale. In the same pot you are going to make the soup, salt and pepper your potatoes and saute them  for about 5 minutes then add onions. Keep sauteing until the edges of the potatoes begin to look translucent. Add the garlic last.

In a separate frying pan, fry up your sausages. Save off a bit of the grease and add the sausages to the potatoes and onions. Fry it a bit longer. About a minute – let them get to know each other.

To make it actual soup, just add water until everything is covered. Drop in some bullion and a little sugar to bring out the flavor (maybe 1/2 a teaspoon) and let the mixture simmer for about 15 minutes. Add the kale and drizzle the bit of sausage grease you kept back on top. Keep simmering for another fifteen minutes or so. Last, but not least, add about half of double bock German beer, or what ever kind catches your fancy. Stay away from anything too dark and/or Pabst Blue Ribbon. You don’t want your soup to taste like piss.

The kale should be tender but not soggy. If you’d like to make this vegetarian, there are lots of veggie sausages out there, just remember they are usually not gluten free. Also remember, that they do not contain animal fats and will dry out much quicker, so cook them less. You may need to add  a little veggie oil to fry them up in as well.

Try this with a good, hearty rosemary and garlic Italian bread and the rest of your beer. While you are enjoying your soup, think on this: if every molecule that creates life was made in the furnace of a star, it means we all come from the same ancestor – everything does. It gives a whole new meaning to ‘you are what you eat’.


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