On Father’s Day I sat next to my little sister at the dinner table. She is 18 years younger than me. Her plump little body filled up the chair and her beautiful, Breck-girl blond hair swung gracefully every time she shook her head. We could not be more different. The only two things we have in common are a love for wine and food.
Our main point of contention – she is a fundamentalist Christian. I am definitely not. JJ accused me of being a christian once as I was trying to explain that all Christian sects are not the same. He didn’t quite seem to get that understanding the dogma of Christianity does not mean you believe it. I kind of wished that he had said that in front of my friends, they would still be having a hearty laugh about that one. I’m glad he didn’t say it in front of my sister, things might have gotten ugly. Jesus is serious business at her house. She doesn’t get that just because I don’t believe in that shit doesn’t mean I don’t understand it.
I’ve been wondering if a good dinner and a couple bottles of Cabernet might save my relationship with my sister. There are lists and lists of ‘do not eat’ items in the the Bible, but I don’t see her worrying about that part much.
“What are you studying in college now?” I asked her between bites.
“Comparative Religion. I’m going to Liberty University.”
I should have kept my mouth shut, but no. “What have you learned?” I asked. You would think I would know better than this.
“I learned that all religions are essentially the same…” she answered. Did I dare hope? No. “Which means that 90% of the world are liars because they haven’t accepted Jesus Christ as their lord and savior.”
Jerry Falwell has possessed my sister and I don’t think any amount of consecrated wine is going exorcise him out of there. I guess I will just have to accept it and get her this for Christmas:
Really? Is this woman a girl-scout for god?
Fuck the fried egg. What I want to know is, are there instructions in there for the water into wine thing?
guaranteed to make even the most brazen atheist sinner see god. Also guaranteed to make your head spin.